I’ve been wanting to write about the recent situation I encountered yet I was too shy even with myself to write on this blog. I just wanted to drown in a pool of tears and blamed anyone because of this failure. Several weeks ago, one of my friends suddenly contacted me and ask whether I would like to join the special staff of Ministry of Education. Actually, I was curious about how he found out my passion and who recommended me to him. But, I hesitated to ask and just focus on the selection process.

After I passed the first test, I’d got to meet other participants and I couldn’t help myself wow-ing all the time. They came from the different education background, mostly with a master degree from abroad. They had many experiences in education and public policy. In the second stage, I also met some of my friends and they also had amazing work and organizational experiences. Nevertheless, I was confident that I would pass the test because I think I did well on LGD and interviews. A week has passed and I got the letter. I failed. I was really sad and depressed. I prayed a lot to pass the test yet God didn’t grant it. But what happened after this is really slapped me….

The day after the depressing day, I met up with my best friends A, N and M. At first, I hesitated to meet them because I didn’t want to share the news that I failed the test. But then N revealed the truth behind the selection. It turned out that N the one who recommended me to participate in the selection. She knew that I had a passion for working the for government. And also, she helped the selection team to make the form and so on. I was surprised and very thankful at the same time. Actually, I have accepted the failure and see the positive side of all the experiences I’d done the past few days. I got a chance to meet amazing people and also expanded my social network. Some of the participants are LSE graduates and they said that they were willing to help me to check the motivation letter, one of the requirements to be the LSE student. N finally explained about the plus and minus side of working on the team that surprisingly give me insight that statement of ‘rezeki tidak akan tertukar dan Allah seadil-adilnya pemberi rizki’ is 1000% true. Yes, I’m still sad even when I read the news about MoE but I believe that someday I will when the time is right. Thank you, God, you give me such wonderful best friends who cherish this fluctuating life. Alhamdulillah..


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